Hi everyone, thank you so much for the positive feedback & I hope that more of you sign up for the blog & start posting!
I'm in a bit of a rush today (we're having an Indian summer in Chicago, so I need to get outside w/ a quickness!), so I just wanted to open up a discussion (hopefully) for everyone to share some dating horror stories....
I'll tell you one dating (more absurd, less horror) story of mine... So this was several years ago back in DC & I ran into this guy that went to a neighboring school while I was in undergrad. We knew of each other back then, seemingly hit it off that night & he said that he wanted to "take (me) out sometime." (Before I continue, by the way he was acting & the 'take you out' statement, I considered this to be a date, & I'm only saying this because it certainly didn't end up feeling like one). Anywho... so a few days later I'm in DC @ my girlfriend's place waiting for the guy to show up (I lived in MD at the time). He comes to her apartment to pick me up (very nice) & goes "so where do you want to go?" Smilemoon thinking: "Umm... Err....you live in DC, but didn't pick a place?" Smilemoon saying "Oh hmm... I have no idea. (Insert girlfriend's name), do you know of any good places??" She recommended something & we headed over there.
Neither of us were that hungry so we ended up splitting an appetizer & a meal (& I think we each got a soda - maybe). The conversation was a-okay until he pulled out a napkin & started drawing & explaining how in addition to his regular job, he was also involved in this "profitable marketing business" where he was "at the top," had 2 people under him, they each had people under them & so on. By the time he was done drawing I looked down, he had basically drawn out what was a blatant pyramid scheme/business/whatever. Awesome.
So bill time comes & I've always been one to offer to split the bill on a first date (I would looove to hear opinions on this one - who should pay, if the girl doesn't offer, what about the 2nd, 3rd, 4th date?). I didn't look at the bill, but just pulled out my purse & credit card & gestured it over to him. He took it without even blinking. When I was signing the credit card receipt, I saw that homeboy & I were splitting a $23 check. Double awesome. Regardless of the total (& feel free to call me old school, backwards or whatever), I grew up with the sweetest, most polite, gentleman-like, open the door, send flowers kind of brother (yep, I basically blame him & the high standards he set!) who had always told me that "it's nice when a girl offers, but a guy should never let a girl pay on the first date."
Ok, so this date happened to continue that same nite b/c my girlfriend had told us that her & some friends were going to a lounge in a few hours & we should meet them there. We did (I paid for the cab ride over b/c Pyramid-Halfsies didn't have cash on him). When we got to the place, I introduced him to my friends & a few minutes later I saw that he had gotten himself a drink. Just himself. This happened 2 more times & I was basically like "Eh...?" I hope no one thinks that I'm an alki needing a drink or that this is about someone paying or me wanting to be taken care of (we can all afford our own drinks), it was about the gesture - the simple asking of "hey, can I get you something/ Let's get something to drink." My own guy friends make the gesture & I return the favor, so I just thought someone on a first date would do the same!
Well, the night finally came to an end & P-H told me that he had a "great time & couldn't wait to meet up again." Double "Eh?!" Now this might be awful of me for not being direct & saying I'm not interested (this is an area of personal development for me & also something I'd love to hear your thoughts on!), but a few times after ignoring & not returning his calls, it was over.
Side thought: Although I've been told this by my friends a million times, I really do have a problem being brief when I'm writing... & I type so darn fast I don't even realize it! Siiiigh, what can I say, I just love telling stories (& hearing them) & hence this blog :-P)
Ok, that's all for me for today; I'd love to hear your own dating horror (or hooray!) stories!
~ SmileMoon :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Hello SM this is not a Dating Horror story but a pyramidal scheme horror story. When someone who remotely knows you comes across as very warm and interested they are not looking at your pretty face or inner beauty but potential of making money off you $$$. No need to even offer to pay the bill - he can actually write off the amount as business expense so part of the dinner on Uncle Sam and part on Nehpew Jerk.
ReplyDeleteVijay Uncle, I'm sure he did write off his $13 & the drinks he bought for HIMSELF! :-P As for people wanting to make money off of me, eek, I hope other than the ladies behind make-up counters, that no one else reads "sucker" written on my forehead & wants to cash-in! :-P
ReplyDeleteyou could have been a Mrs. Madoff! (or at least a Sheryl Weinstein...) Seriously though, my vote is for whoever did the asking out to pick up the bill on a first date.
ReplyDeleteHere's a dating story on the other extreme. Tell me your thoughts. I meet up with a girl for a first date. We have a pleasant lunch at a restaurant attached to a mall. I, as always, pay for the lunch. She didn't even offer, but I thought it was ok, since she didn't have a job. But then, we go into the mall and she makes a beeline to Nordstrom's. She proceeds to try on several 150$ boots and 1000$+ purses. Then she takes me to the men's section and tells me that the shirts here are nice and reasonably priced (at only 120$ each)! I'm not a cheap guy and I make plenty of money, but visions flashed before my eyes of long days at work while my wife was shopping at Sak's 5th and Burbery... Am I wrong to think like this?
ReplyDeleteum, no, i think you're very right to think like this. there's nothing wrong with "high" taste, but you should definitely be concerned of that extreme overexposure of what she values (fine, fancy & pricey things) since although you are not cheap my any means, you also aren't looking to be someone's sugardaddy. unfortunately, i think a lot of indian girls are so whacked out in the earning/spending/status department. i have at least 5 guy friends who've told me that they've been on dates where girls either asked directly or indirectly how much they made or would be making (say after completing residency). my god...
ReplyDeletei'm also the complete opposite of girls who think like this; i'm of the "shop at (insert any average-priced store name), but look like prada" mentality, & i could care less what brand myself or anyone else is wearing of how much they spent on it. in fact, i'm always more tickled by the person who got the great deal (& i'm also not cheap) versus just spent a lot of money.
sorry, i just had to clarify that i have minimal style & actually never look like "prada;" i more look like "bebe or urban outfitters" :-P
ReplyDeletethis must of been this guy's first date. strange. even when a girl asks me out I pay for the first few dates. Unless they REALLY insist - which I think is very cool and shows respect.
ReplyDeleteSend this guy to charm school.
Hey Smilemoon, just came across your blog... it's awesome. And I can totally relate to this story (though you posted it several months ago)... had a very similar experience just last night! Guy asks me out - 2nd date. Makes me pay for both our drinks as we wait for dinner table (says he's out of cash), and at the end of dinner, it's a split bill just like at the 1st date. Again, I have no problem paying and usually offer to split, but what other (non-obnoxious) way does a guy have to show that this is a date than at least to offer to buy dinner on the first couple of dates?! Not sure whether I should see him again - for all I know, he's thinking of this as "just hanging out" :-s Oh well... any thoughts?
ReplyDeleteI think I can top all of you...
ReplyDeleteI was once asked to contribute my share of the GAS MONEY (this after we had each paid our own way for tix and drinks at a comedy club). And the dude had the nerve to ask me out again (obviously I said no). Then we ran into each other at some event a year later, and he offered to give me a ride home, I just smiled and said "no thanks, I think it will be cheaper to take BART (local commuter train". He looked at me and said "Touche", so clearly he knew he had been a d-bag.