"Beta, you're just not trying..."

Not to harp on the issue (being that my last post was called "A Family Matter"), but parents are truly something else. My honestly adorable dad just blew up my facebook page (his getting on FB was one of the more traumatizing experiences of my life)... in addition to wishing me a Happy Birthday, he said "Our prayer on this 30th BD is that almighty God find the best, loving and caring life partner for you soon." I know, aweee.  & before heading to the NetIP conference in Toronto my mom wrote this ridiculously cute e-mail (that I so wrongly turned into a forward - sorry momma!) that gave me the following advice: "Please try to create and generate positive energy around you. Listen first the other person, feel tall and intelligent. If (you) don't (have a) response just give a cute smile. You have a beautiful smile. Try to make some net working from girls too."  Mommy, I tried to be as tall & smile as much possible - no such luck though; however I did meet some great girls! :-P

I'm not saying that they aren't the sweetest for caring, but it's just a bit much to handle when that's all that every conversation with the parental units seems to revolve around including the every now & then "Beta, you are just not trying."

They are conveniently forgetting the several years of my being on various dating websites, going on blind dates & set ups, awkwardly being 3rd wheel to my parents & attending weddings where I knew no one purely for the sake of humoring their "Beta, you never know...," my participating in a Charity Date Auction (I was actually auctioned & how absurd is this...?  The guy payed $850 to go on a date w/ me to one of the Top 10 restaurants in the country & a hot air balloon ride & he didn't even end up ever going on the date! Talk about an ego killer :-P), NetIP/NetSAP/SAPA/whatever events, etc.   So I would like just a little credit for being open-minded & putting in what I think is a good amount of effort.

Parents don't understand how easy it was for them when they tell us that we aren't trying.  When they got married 30-40+ years ago, I would say at least 75% of them had arranged marriages (if not more) & as awful as I think this system was/is, a lot of them had the assistance of a generous dowry to help seal the deal.  They could've been short, dark, balding (or more likely overly-hairy!), overweight & maybe just not necessarily so pleasant on the eyes (sure, sure "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" & all that), but the majority of them all got hitched up one way or the other by the time they were in their early 20's.

Believe me, even though my own father didn't get a dowry when he married my mom (& I have to say "Go Nanaji!" for not giving dowries for any of his 3 daughters!), if he could now offer some guy a washing machine, microwave & some substantial amount of rupees/$'s to seal the deal, he would in a heartbeat (he wouldn't tell me about it, but he would!)  As we all know, the dowry system is still so prevalent in the motherland; to some extent it has either helped or hindered weddings from happening on both sides of my famliy there & horrific as I think it is, I can't help but think of one particular story with a niece of mine (she is older than me - you all know how that works).

Anywho, well, my gorgeous, sweet, "gharelu" ("homely" as some people in appropriately say or "good w/ household things") niece had polio when she was a baby & essentially lost all use of one leg.  Now she was educated & had everything going for her, but when it came to her settling down, finding the right guy was impossible; people could not see past her "handicap".  Well, my cousin found a great guy for her & wooed over his parents with a very generous dowry; it wasn't something the guy was asking for, but his mummy & daddy were.  No one on my niece's side was offended by this; they happily gave the dowry & several years later, she has a precious daughter & a really happy home life with an honestly amazing man.  So, I dunno, would I wish away the dowry in this instance when it ended up getting her everything she wanted...?  I don't think I would...

Well, as usual, this got long, but that's how my stream of thought works when I'm writing; thanks to all of you who actually read my complete posts!  Also, sorry for being MIA for a bit; I just had the most amaizng 30th-bday weekend celebrating with friends & family & was traveling non-stop before that & I'm sooo glad to finally be back!

K, write soon ~ SmileMoon :)