I really mulled over using "boobs" instead b/c I think that's the term people use more often, but I thought I'd keep it as clinical as possible. I imagine that because I (omg) said "breasts!" this will likely be my posting with the highest readership to date; however, I hope that people came here because you qualified under the subject as either having a pair or caring about someone who does (fellas, I know you don't want to think about the anatomy of anyone other than females of the opposite sex that you are attracted to or in a relationship with, but bear with me for a second as I break it to you that other people who fall into this category include your mom, aunts, sisters, cousins, friends, female co-workers, etc.).
There is nothing original about me writing this post since we all know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, but I'm writing because breast cancer - or actually, anything considered as being "unwell" by the desi community - is not really talked about and as a result, there is so much general unawareness in our community about so many things that are health-related. Naturally, when someone goes through something like cancer, they do not wish to broadcast what they are going through due to wanting privacy and also not wanting people to feel bad for them (I hate sympathy just as much as the next person). However, in the South Asian community, you'll often hear odd things about not wanting the ill-wishes ("badhua") of people or concern over how people will perceive that person once they are recovered as if now, a person who is now completely fine, is somehow damaged goods. You'll also find South Asians knocking on or "touching" wood because they are so fearful that if they talk about someone else going through something, they risk having to experience the same.
I am also writing this because this topic is very near and dear to me for 2 main reasons. The #1 reason is that too many people that I know (or wish I had a chance to know) directly or indirectly have either battled against breast cancer or after having put up the bravest of fights, sadly passed well before their time. On a side note, although this post is dedicated to breast cancer - one of the most "popular" of all cancers, ever since it became associated to the pretty pink ribbon and got a whole month dedicated to in which all kinds of awesome stuff raising funds for the cause is sold - the general issue is that South Asians (in spite of our supposedly being so darn smart) are not in the know about so many serious health issues including all cancers that don't have their own dedicated awareness months.
Now before getting into reason #2, I wanted to let you know that from here on out, although I'll definitely be blogging about my personal experiences, I will also be blogging about the experiences of "friends of mine" or "people I know." Friends and people that I know, please don't panic, because unless I have your permission, I definitely won't be using your names, and if it's a story that common friends would know is your's (with or w/out names), I also won't be writing it w/out your permission. Readers who don't know me well are likely and welcome to assume that when I am writing about a risque topic, I am talking about myself using a "friend of mine" as a cover. It may even be true from time to time, but I would hope that most people who know me or at least care to know me, do not jump to the conclusion that I have experienced or am experiencing everything - from breast cancer, coronary artery disease, AIDs, every dating horror story under the sun & more - that I plan on talking about. Many people have written to me asking me to share their stories, and before doing so, I plan on running whatever I am writing by them to make sure I've not only depicted their experience correctly, but don't said anything that - irrespective of no one knowing who they are - they wouldn't want me to say.
So, back to reason #2... an Indian friend of mine, whose Mom had done had a fantastic of job of educating her about sexual health at a young age (news flash to all desi people, "sexual health" does not mean that you are necessarily sexually active, but once your reproductive organs kick into gear - usually in your early teens - your sexual health has officially begun), took her to her first OB-GYN appointment at the then-recommended age of 18 (I believe present day guidelines say 21). At that visit, my friend (let's call her "F") learned how to do a self-breast exam and immediately started doing them on a monthly basis as her doctor had recommended.
Well, to her surprise, at 19, F actually stumbled across something. Naturally, she was scared, but was reassured by her doctor that it was likely a benign fibroid (http://www.ehow.com/how_2061063_cope-breast-fibroids.html), which is very common in women under 30 and usually not cancerous, so he said they would continue to monitor it. Although she felt relieved, she stopped doing the self-checks. Three years later, the week before her 22nd b-day, she went in for her annual follow up exam and the doctor found another - but this time, bigger - "something" (I believe the word of doom is "lump"), so he said that it would now be best just to take whatever they were, out. Naturally, she imagined her whole life flashing before her eyes and considering her young age, all of the things she was fearful she'd never get to do.
Thankfully, it was just benign fibroids as the doctor had predicted and F was given a clean bill of health; since then, she routinely does monthly breast exams and sees her OB-Gyn for annual exams. I wanted to share this particular story because I believe that too many South Asians operate in a state of ignorance when it comes to their health preferring to be blissfully unaware instead; I cannot tell you how many times I have died a little whenever I hear of a late 20-something, early 30-something South Asian female who has never been to the OB-gyn (sorry, let me clarify - specifically never had a Pap smear).
Their reasons are earnest and plentiful... because they weren't/aren't that active, had only one partner, they were scared to, their parents didn't let them, and so on. Ladies, I will talk about this again, but whether you have had a lifetime of heavenly cramp-free periods and you've never even held hands with a boy, the fact that you are a female, who has a menstrual cycle and are of a certain age, qualifies you to have your lady parts checked out. & speaking of parents... it's not their fault because they didn't know any better and grew up in a completely different world than we did, but the majority of our mostly-arranged-marriage-parents, who called having your period being "down" & found ways to give it a bad connotation by not allowing you to go to temple or pujas at that time of the month (thank goodness my parents didn't do this b/c they understood that God gave me that time of the month!), turned everything into acts of "shame shame" & assumed that b/c their kids were acche bache who were good in school, they were not having in-line experiences as their peers, did not have conversations about any thing related to sexual health whether it was about the birds and the bees, routine check-ups or dating.
Anyway, like usual, I digress, but I want to come back to the reason I was writing - your BOOBS (there, I said it)/someone else's that you care about and getting in the know about them! If you're an older sister/cousin to a younger sister/cousin, have a conversation with her about doing self-checks or about things she might be experiencing with dating... if you are a parent reading this, commit to having conversations (or get people you trust to) with your kids about topics that make you wildly uncomfortable or that you prefer to be in denial about... if you're a husband/boyfriend, ask your boo boo the last time she went for her Pap or if she's doing routine monthly self-breast exams.
Being the smart South Asians that we are, even though we prefer not to think or talk about these topics, we should keep in mind, that God forbid we or someone we knew was to be diagnosed with something like breast cancer, the sooner it is discovered, the less invasive treatment is likely to be and the more likely that a full recovery would be made versus being diagnosed with it at a much later stage.
For those of you who read on the regular, thank you for enduring my randomness, and for those of you who made a first time visit, thank you for stopping by!
Write soon ~ Smile Moon :)
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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